his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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