when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What a dumb baby whore.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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