what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
