I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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