I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
