I feel like abortions should bother me more
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
