Where did you get a picture of my penis
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize