why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
