THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
