Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize