Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
