Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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