just come out here and I will go home with you...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize