Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
We smell like vodka and hangover
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