it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
