so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
