I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
