do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize