I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
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