You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize