You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
