normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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