Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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