I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
