hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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