I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize