this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
no, he came in my armpit
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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