I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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