Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
