My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
