I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
