I love black thongs
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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