Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
