Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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