I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
