So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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