Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
