alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize