highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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