I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
