I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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