Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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