what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
