I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
