You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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