Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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