No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
