Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize