they need to just BURY HIM!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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