Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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