a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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