And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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