hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
