I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
