it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
