He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
