I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
