This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
