I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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