Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
